Believe the "Lie"

Been drawing a blank for a while. Thought I should make the last post of 2008.

Maybe we weren't meant to live forever
Maybe it was just a mistake
Maybe we were meant to die together
Maybe it's not too late

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When you're tired of always being tired but can't ever sleep
I feel like the only person in the world

When time becomes the one thing you can't keep

When no one's awake when I want them to be
Sometimes I just want to sleep
Why can't I ever just sleep?

Home

That's where I want to be.
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"I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right"

Epic Fail...

Because sometimes, people suck.

Dear Citizen,

I don't know why or how I, me of all people got this but thank you. Ken Garduno is awesome. So are you guys.

ACT/ Hip Hop Literate

Call it, head or tails. Wish me luck, come tomorrow I'm going to need it.


People say that the best things in life are free
Well, that shows how much people know about me
When people choose to believe everything they see
Taking the world at face value
What we're doing we're doing for you
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The mirror has two faces
All I see is my reflection
A glimpse of the past
And the reason I won't face them
Half the life I'll never see
Half the person I wanted to be
All the reasons why (you'll never be) you're not me
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I write better than few
And talk even less
I'm writing the words I know you'll forget
Can't get blamed for something (I) you never did
(I'm) Raising this auction to the next highest bid
I'll write this letter (and) I'll use your pen
You could write this better than all of them

60000

We're waiting. Whatever it is, we're ready and we're waiting. We're ready for it, come bring it.

Edit: /\/\ [] |\| |) /-\ \|

Being honest goes a long way in my book. Truth. Distraction from what? We're missing something aren't we? I'm waiting for Monday. It's what I know. Truth.

Now That I Have Your Attention....

Playing off our paranoia isn’t nice. There is a purpose for it. We think, therefore it is. How do we know when we really get it? My days and nights are all consumed by it. I hate it. I LOVE it. I’m going to need a psychiatrist after it.

It's Not Over Yet, 59996

Maybe things changed. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe we’re just trying too hard. There’s no such thing as a straight answer from you is it? Marco, Polo. Are we hot or cold?

Beneath Medicine Tree, In Motion, Eat Sleep Repeat, You Are My Sunshine

I can honestly say, for the first time in a long time, I could see where I wanted to be, even if it was only a glance.

Dazed and Confused

I’m not even going to pretend to know what you’re talking about.

Tomorrow could have ended today

You took for granted what you did yesterday

Tomorrow tastes better than you could ever say

Live for now, it could have gone another way

The Store Didn't Save You, You Saved Yourself (Late Night Confessionals, Early Morning Lies)

Sometimes I just don’t know anymore. You don’t owe us anything, but it’s still appreciated.
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I’ll set the scene, you take care of the rest
I gave you the problem, you do what you do best
Talk to the doctors, get it off your chest
Take a moment to sit down and ask them “What’s next?”
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Take me down the halls and turn off the lights
Everything down here is always too bright
I could list you all the things that just aren’t right
If you would give me a pen, paper, and a moment to write
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Doesn’t that make you feel kind of alone
That everything you once knew is now gone
How some people here are terribly wrong
How they think they know what’s going on
They're singing the words, but you wrote the song
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Sign your name on the line it will keep you alive
Like a name on a line actually stops suicide
Like a name on a line erases what you feel inside
Like it could never betray what you know, besides
You tell the truth, live a little, live a lie
You wanted to live not to die
But who would ever believe your side
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You’re not dead or dying, you’re sitting right there
But everyone’s talking about you as if you’re not here
Things turn out differently than circumstances bare
And situations tell you if they even really care
The realization in the end is more than I can share
The thought of being “was”, of never being here

Live a little, Live a Lie

Sometimes I wonder if what I write is witty enough. I say screw wit, I always liked puns better anyways.

Make Up For It: "You suck, you changed"

I can work with this.

I bend the truth but the lies I always get straight
They’re just thoughts that never meant anything to you
Grand ideas and gestures you ignored
You dish out pity like it’s nothing new
An ‘at your own risk’ entrée when coming from you
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I think it’s worth the I told you so
Cause everything I said was true
You had it plenty, plenty of time
And it shows just how little you knew
I’ve got your attention when you never had mine

Reality Check

The realest thing I've wrote in a long while. This is me writing something that really means something. I'm going to do that more often.
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And then I just forget
Like I’m missing something but can’t remember what it is
It’s times like that I think I’m crazy
I hate that feeling
I feel like that almost all the time
And then there are the things I can’t write
Things I can’t put into words
Because those are the words that make me realize
That make me see just how messed up I really am
I don’t think I could take that
I’m afraid to face myself because I don’t know what I’ll see when I do
And for once my problem has nothing to do with you
So I pass the time in other peoples lives
And I wonder if they're afraid to face themselves to

Kurt Halsey Frederiksen and Stuff

Guess what? I got that motivation. Yeah, the first is from a painting on Meelikey ...A Boys Life, the second is just something I found lying around on my computer.
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You hear you favorite song on the radio
It reminds you of the good and the bad
It takes you back to your all time lows
And all the fun times you had
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Like the picture, like the people
Like the things that went unsaid
Cause it never was enough for me to see
That you would believe every word they say
And how difficult the music life could be
Once thought we were on the same page
Then I found out the hard way
Unlike the people, the pictures never change

Are You Tired? Do You Think You Need to Sleep?

Here’s something else for your reading pleasure (or nightmare).
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Sometimes you make me want to self-doubt
Have me up thinking what’s life all about.
Make me think that I’m not good enough
Sometimes you wish I was never here
You make me feel unwelcome there
Maybe I really am not good enough
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You make me want to wake up and see
Someone else who’s better than me
Everyday day when I see myself
You make me wish it was someone else
From all the lies that came to be
You make me wish I wasn’t me

What Is Your Profession?

Let us just skip straight to the point. Where have I been lately? Well, I'll give you a hint.

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Have you ever thought you were missing out on something?
Never getting what you were always wanting?
Everyone’s words were just so taunting .
Because everyone’s words were those who had gotten
Not the words from those who were forgotten
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But if there was anything that you wanted
You found you already had
And that there was no reason to get upset or mad
Because when you let everything go
You find the one thing you will always know
The one place that’s safe that you can always go

High-fives and (very pretty) Shoes All Before 5 am

It seems that I have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Apparently I do it very well because no one has been able to find me. Untill now of course. If you can update at 1 am in the morning, than why can’t I? You know who you are. Thank You.
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By the way, I’ve got nothing. I’m out of ideas.
You’re just going to have to wait till all the smoke clears
I need to get some sleep, two more hours till 5 am
They’re expecting a rhyme just for them
*insert rhyme* is what they’ll get
So sue me if we all can’t be musical architects

Darken Your Clothes

Another batch of tidbits.

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And have I got some news for you
Because I'm just waiting for another day, another chance, another way
To set right what I'd done wrong
To say what I have known all along
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Here we are at the edge of the world with nowhere to go
Falling now, closer and closer till I hit the ground
And I know that you must hate me now
That's fine because I hate me too
And I wonder, how could I do this to you?

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Here we are at the edge of the world with nowhere to go

Falling now, closer and closer till I hit the ground

And I know that you must hate me now

If I were you, I would hate me too

I'm so sorry for what I did to you

And there's no one around to watch me fall closer, closer till I hit the ground

If only you knew that I'm falling closer to you

What's The Worst I Could Say?

Tidbits from stuff I've been working on.


Here I am wondering why time flies away
And how much can change by the end of the day
I'm still here waiting, wondering if you'll ever come back
Trying to call you to say it shouldn't have ended like that
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I can't believe it's come to this
You said to stop analyzing and rationalizing and try to accept
That no one gave me anything and I'm the one they left
And I sure that's a valid explanation for someone out there
But it's a valid expiation I refuse to hear

How Close Is Too Close?

I changed things. Pretty self explanatory. I hope.....

As we made our move, they got pulled in

But of course they were lost, make those lights go dim

Oh, but give 'em a chance, they'll know what to do

Try not to be jealous, as this could have been you

Pacing the rooms wondering what to do

But it's funny how all they ever wanted was to be you

Because their life makes it hard for them to win

While we spent our lives living, they were dying from within

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Are we Okay?

We were never Okay

Always wanting what we could never have

Staring at the greener grass from the other side

Staring into each others eyes as we lied

We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.

It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway
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You'll keep following those lights as they drift out to sea
Don't fall off the boat, you know you can't swim

But what good advice could possibly come from me?
You said our troubles were over

But in truth they just began

When our problems started, you turned tail and ran

We thought you we're our friend

But who ever thought you'd prove us wrong in the end
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Are we Okay?

We were never Okay

Always wanting what we could never have

Staring at the greener grass from the other side

Staring into each others eyes as we lied

We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.

It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway
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This was from the one side you couldn't see
The two-faced liar who lied to me

Somewhere along you sold your soul

For the power, the money, the fame, and control

So tell me what was your fee?

I hope everything went well or you can at least pretend
I couldn't even if you could
In the end I hope you got what you thought you should
Because in the end I never thought you would
Tell me again,
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Are we Okay?

We were never Okay

Always wanting what we could never have

Staring at the greener grass from the other side

Staring into each others eyes as we lied

We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.

It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway.
It's not like we would have cared either way.
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Guess Who's Back.

As you can see, yes I have my computer working again. I have added things, and now that I have a basic idea of what I'm writing, I should be able to organized it some. in other words, the following is subject to change:

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As we made our move, they got pulled in
But of course they were lost, make those lights go dim
Oh, but give 'em a chance, they'll know what to do
Try not to be jealous, as this could have been you
Pacing the rooms wondering what to do
But it's funny how all they ever wanted was to be you
Because their life makes it hard for them to win
While we spent our lives living, they were dying from within
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Are we Okay?
We were never Okay
Always wanting what we could never have
Staring at the greener grass from the other side
We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.
It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway

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You'll keep following those lights as they drift out to sea

Don't fall off the boat, you know you can't swim

You said our troubles were over
But in truth they just began
We thought you we're our friend
But who ever thought you'd prove us wrong in the end

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Are we Okay?
We were never Okay
Always wanting what we could never have
Staring at the greener grass from the other side
We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.
It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway

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This was from the one side you couldn't see

The two-faced liar who lied to me

And I couldn't even if you could

In the end I hope you got what you thought you should

Because in the end I never thought you would

Tell me again,

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Are we Okay?
We were never Okay
Always wanting what we could never have
Staring at the greener grass from the other side
We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.
It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway.

It's not like we would have cared either way.

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Déjà Vu

Same old, same old. Still can't see my own work.


This is from the one side you couldn't see
The two-faced liar who lied to me

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You said our troubles were over

But in truth they just began

We thought you we're our friend

But whoever thought you'd prove us wrong in the end

Starry Nights

Well, see here's the thing, my computer isn't working right now so can't see what I posted the day before, aka my song w.i.p. So today, I will attempt to write random one-two liners and hope it makes sense when I reunite it with the family.


I couldn't even if you could
In the end I hope you got what you thought you should
Because in the end I never thought you would

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You'll keep following those lights as they drift out to sea
Don't fall off the boat, you know you can't swim

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Boardwalk Meeting

I have decided to try to put together some of what I have to see if I can get it to make some sense. What I have so far is, well... you know.... changed some things around, but yeah. Tomorrow I should know were I'm going with this. I think. I hope.....

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As we made our move, they got pulled in

But of course they were lost, make those lights go dim

Oh, but give 'em a chance, they'll know what to do

Try not to be jealous, as this could have been you

Pacing the rooms wondering what to do

But it's funny how all they ever wanted was to be you

Because their life makes it hard to win

While we spent our lives living, they were dying from within

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Are we Okay?

We were never Okay

Always wanting what we could never have

Staring at the greener grass from the other side

We're not okay, but it's okay, we'll pretend.

It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway

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Run, Never Stop

I have nothing to say. Not to you, but in general.

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The only person who doesn't know you like him is him

The only person who doesn't know he likes you is you

But of course they're lost, make the lights go dim

Oh, but give 'em a chance, they'll know what to do

And you try not to be jealous that this could have been you

Pacing the rooms wondering what you should do

But it's funny how all they ever wanted was to be you

Because their life makes it hard to win

While you spent your life living, they were dying from within

Follow the Yellow Brick Road...

This is... yeah, whatever. It just happened, I don't know...

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You could do better than that

I know I could do better than that

Give me a chance and I'll show you I'm better than that

But I can't expect anything more of you than I already have

You'll never see the obvious signs

We're sitting in the same place, opposite ends of the table

Words can't express the way you make me feel

You don't know, I wish I could but I just can't let it go

I signed the lock on this lease, no way out of this deal

.........

Yeah, you know me, I know you. Moving on.

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They tell me it's okay

That we'll make it big one day

We'll change the world with what we'll do

We're going to show them what we really mean

The day we finally leave this scene

But some times I wonder if that's true

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So maybe I'll give it one last try

Though quite honestly I don't know why

Cause 'one day' seems like forever

Maybe someday it'll change

Maybe we'll end up on the same page

But right now it feels like we'll never

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I want to make a getaway

But you told me I need to stay

So I'm going to let you have it your way

Don't make me regret this one day

So, we meet again

I'd like to think we've gotten past the point were we need introductions.


"Self-destructive behavior" is just another phase for "Demons I can't hide"

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You're like "Assume" without the "U" and the "M.E" (You put the "A", "S", "S" in "Assume")

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You hate what you do, but it gets what you want

You can't be picky and besides, you need the money

Well, not really, but isn't it nice to have?

It seems that's what everyone is after these days

So why not get ahead in the game?

It couldn't hurt to be one of the leading names

In society with money and fame

Ha, ha! Success!

I wrote something...... On purpose..... And got a way with it. Take that writer's block, for revenge is best served cold.

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Oh, don't tell me what you can't accept

I never said it was fair

I never said we would win

You were my breath of air

I was you next best bet

So just stop with your pathetic lies

If I could rearrange the alphabet,

I'd put "U" next to "I"

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You said you loved me but I knew you loved them more

But it hurts when you try to play if off

And you keep saying that you never have a choice

Don't bother with it honey, cause I've heard it all before

You are your own warning label

"Return to sender, not to store"

*insert title here*

Some of my older works (when song writing used to be easier). Art never flows when you're happy. I'm content, which apparently is good enough. Go figure.

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Well I'm running for my life
Because that guy has got a knife
He's not the only one you know
Oh, look that kid has got a gun
And he just killed somebody's son
Don't you wish that there was somewhere you could go?

Instead you're walking down the street
Afraid of everyone you meet
Because you don't know what they'll do
You don't want to intervene
Because you know what that'll mean
And running so much easier for you

I think this time you lost me
And I don't know what's going on
Why is everyone so different?
How the hell did I miss it?
When was I left all alone?

People think it's just for fun
When kids say they'll kill someone
They'll believe them when it turns out to be true
And everywhere you turn
It's just another lesson learned
In a place you learned to call your home

I think this time you lost me
And I still don't know what's going on
Why is everyone so different?
How the hell did I miss it?
Why did you leave me all alone?

This stopped being funny long, LONG ago....

Yep, writers block still in effect. I know I just wrote this, but you DON'T want to know how long it took me to come with this. Personally, I think it's not the best I could do, but it's better than nothing.

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It doesn't seem fair how you got me by a string

Just a puppet being pulled by my stupid puppy love

You just keep saying those sweet lies that keep pulling me in

Those pretty words that make it worth not leaving you

Those pretty words are the reason I keep giving in

I think I'll leave you clueless, it's better that way

Go ahead and lead, you know I'll forever follow

Cause I'll always be your puppet, your puppet on a string

I've been here before....

Yeah, yeah. My sad attempt to rid my self of my writers block.



Drown out the sound, the voices they’re screaming
What can I do?
For the very first time when I look at you
I’ve got nothing to say
But I’ve got everything to write
These empty words fall on a blank page tonight


Whispers from the past seem to disappear without a trace
There’s something on this screen, it’s not something for display
Yet the words keep on coming
And I have nothing left to say
I can write these words on paper
But I just can’t say them to your face


I’ve got nothing left to give
But you’ve got plenty more to take
And it’s an awful thing to see
But when it comes to you I can’t say “No”
For all that you do, I’ll always forgive
And it makes it hard for me to see the light
These empty notes fall on a blank sheet tonight


Whispers from the past seem to disappear without a trace
There’s something on this screen, it’s not something for display
Yet the words keep on coming
And I have nothing left to say
I can write these words on paper
But I just can’t say them to your face


Come live with me in my house built with writers block’s
Where there are no windows and the door’s always locked
I never tried to walk out of that door
No, I sit in this chair with my notebook in hand
Writing lyrics for songs that are in high demand
But these papers keep dropping, keep falling to the floor
Making these next lines feel like a losing fight
These empty words fall on a blank page tonight


Whispers from the past disappear without a trace
And the words keep on coming, relentless in pace
Yet I have nothing to say to you
So you’ll write these words on paper
But you won’t say them to my face


And as we sit at the computer writing this song
(In a house by ourselves)
We’ll fight and we’ll ague about which parts are wrong
(And windows are open and the doors are unlocked)
We disagree on everything but still get along
(This is the demolition of the house made of writer’s blocks)
We're equally balanced
(You are the darkness to my light)
And as I walk out that door, I know we’re alright
Because music and lyrics full this notebook tonight

Something I'm good at

Some one-two liners. Those i can do. Putting them together, well now that's another story...



Am I Okay?
I'm not okay, but it's okay, I'll pretend.
It's not like you ever knew the difference anyway

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I hate what I do but it gets what I love

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You may have a way with words, but my words get my way

what can i say, i love rhyming

A little rhyming fest I had while writing lyrics.


You don’t know what you mean to me.
For some reason you don’t see.
Without you I just could not be.
You saved me from myself, literally.
You don’t know what you did for me .
I don’t know how to pay you back.
I would say I’m thankful but I owe you more than that.
You’re the one who held me back.
You’re the one who put me back on track.
You knew I could do better than that.
I don’t understand how you,
Don’t understand the things I do for you.
Without you I’d be nothing, it’s true.
Cause I wouldn’t want to live in a world that doesn’t have you.
If you can’t see it from what I do
Then I’m here to say: P.S I owe you
You don’t even know what you did.
You saved my life; I hope you know that kid.
I hope you’ll never give up altogether.
I hope you’ll get though any rough weather.
We’ll make it as long as we’re together.
For all you did for me, we’d better.